Donald Trump & Brock Turner

Scott Baio has come to the defense of Donald Trump.  In reference to Trump’s “pussy grabbing” comment the former Happy Days star said, “And ladies out there, this is what guys talk about when you’re not around. So if you’re offended by it, grow up, OK?”  Jon Voight added, “Donald Trump’s words were not as damaging as Robert DeNiro’s ugly rant. Trump’s words did not hurt anyone.”

To Scott Baio, and to Jon Voight, I’d like to say that words like those uttered by Donald Trump can and do destroy families and lives.  They leave scars that might never heal.  Earlier this year I attended the Brock Turner trial.  I was there as a spectator only.  Thank goodness I had no direct involvement with the case.  For those of you who may have missed it, Brock Turner was a 19 year old Stanford University scholarship student, world class swimmer and Olympic hopeful.  He was a clean cut, upper middle class, All American boy who was charged with some extremely heinous crimes.  During the trial the defense produced a string of character witnesses all of whom gave glowing reports of Mr. Turner’s wonderful personality, calm temperament and compassionate nature.  I believe that these witnesses were telling the truth.  I believe that Brock Turner actually is as they described him, a fine young man.

But the facts tell a very different story.  On the night of January 17, 2015 Turner found himself with free time and way too many options.  He could have spent the evening reading Shakespeare, or he could have surfed the net.  He could have gone to the gym to work out, or he could have plopped down in front of the TV with an extra large bag of chips and a liter of diet Coke for company.  He could have strolled the streets of Palo Alto, or he could have played video games.  He could have written a letter or he could have visited the comic book store.

But on that fateful evening he didn’t do any of those things.  Instead he went to a frat party with the intention of drinking and “hooking up.”  Around midnight Turner met “Emily Doe” a young lady in need of assistance.  Miss Doe’s sister had left her unattained at the party without transportation and ten miles from home.  To make matters worse Miss Doe was three times over the legal limit for alcohol.  Mr. Turner, twice over the legal limit himself, could have been a gentleman.  He could have called a cab and arranged for transportation for Miss Doe to safely return home.  How I wish that he had.  But calling a cab isn’t want Mr. Turner did.  Instead, in the words of Donald Trump, he grabbed Miss Doe by the pussy and put his finger inside her.

I was seated only twenty feet away when Mr. Turner’s father made the now infamous statement that after 19 years of good behavior jail was a steep price to pay for “twenty minutes of action.”  At the time I felt it was an unfortunate choice of words, but I never imagined that they’d be heard around the world.  When Miss Doe read her statement my heart broke.  Who could have failed to have been crushed by her words? 

It’s easy to dismiss Brock Turner as nothing more than a sexual predator and be done with him.  But that wouldn’t address the root cause of sexual assault and it wouldn’t answer the pressing question of how to prevent it.  Why would any young man with such a bright future and unlimited possibilities throw it all away for nothing more than some drunken groping in the dirt besides a dippy dumpster?  Why would a good person, and yes I do believe that Mr. Turner is fundamentally good, treat anyone so cruelly as he did Miss Doe?

My intuition is that for Brock Turner success came too soon and too easy.  As a result he never took the time to really examine his beliefs.  If he wasn’t the swimming sensation that he was, and if he hadn’t had so many wonder friends, he might have sat down in solitude and really scrutinized his attitudes turning them over one-by-one in his mind.  Had he done this I believe he’d have discovered, all on his own, that he harbored some truly toxic ideas and he would have cast those ideas out.  Had Mr. Turner done so he might have called that cab.

Please let me be clear, drunk or not Mr. Turner was wholly responsible for his actions.  He and he alone is the architect of this tragedy.  However there’s a poisonous attitude loose in the land.  That attitude was perfectly summed up by Mr. Trump’s odious boast; Hey I’m a star, I can do whatever I like.  As far as women are concerned I can grab ‘em by the pussy and get away with it.

Donald Trump’s words are read and listened to by millions of teenage boys who have yet to develop the natural filters and who don’t yet have the life experience to recognize them for what they are.   Athletic ability, fame, scholastic achievement and money will get you invitations to all the best parties.  They’ll get you the best table at the best restaurants.  They’ll get you admitted to elite universities and membership in the most exclusive country clubs.  They might even get you a private jet with your name painted on the side and your picture on the cover of TIME magazine.  But they don’t give you a free pass to grope women.